One seat in the Cricket Theatre

All the world's a stage exclaimed the most famous playwright of all time. Ask Lalit Modi about it and he'll readily agree. This may not be the greatest show on earth but it certainly comes close to being the greatest show in the cricket world. (to me the India v Pakistan WC 96 quarterfinal will remain as the numero uno on that count ). When Brendon Muccullum swiped all those sixes on the opening night little did he realize that he had just clapped and said "action" to signal the start of what one can truly claim as a cinematic experience, complete with scantily clad cheer girls, crying stars and rebellious superstars. The theatrics on the field and off it (the forced hug and make up picture of sreesanth and harbhajan complete with Farokh Engineer desperately trying to remain in the picture, will remain among the most comical images of the IPL) would have impressed many a veteran actor. To see the same foreigners who would crib about playing in India in the heat of April queue up to get their share of the pie is possibly the best indicator that money is the overriding factor in anything and everything. Maybe its time for Master Card to change their slogan.

One wouldn want to be left out of such a historic tournament and when the chance came for me to be part of the action, albeit in the sedentary role of a spectator I grabbed it. So on the 21st , with free tickets courtesy Sunil, and Aadi for company I stepped into the ground pretty apprehensive about whether I'll get my money's worth. Considering that the Royal Challengers were playing that was a pretty tough ask . In case anyone is wondering what money I am talking about, it is the time that I was investing in the exercise and I believe in Time is money concept. At least that way with so much time in hand I can feel like a millionaire. With a live concert by Tipu going on, getting into the mood wasn't too difficult and we settled down pretty fast. As the sky darkened threatening showers and then delivering on it, anxiety set in about whether the match would happen. Almost everyone had a prayer on their lips to get the clouds to go away (though at the end of the match the same people were suggesting that a rain would have ensured a better result for the CSK)

As the rains went away and the chances of a full match became brighter so did the faces of everyone around. After all you don't pay in the hundreds and thousands to watch the rainfall. As soon as the match started the whole stadium seemed to ride on new found energy. The best part, about this game atleast, revolved around song and dance. The songs blaring from the PA system and the dance routine of the rather excessively gyrating cheer leaders of Royal Challengers. With a costume that would first send the local politicians to their graves with their heart stopping moves, and then make them turn in them protesting against such "unacceptable public behaviour", they were the ones inducing life into a game which had long been done to death through boredom, thanks to inspid batting performances by both the teams.

Two things became very apparent to me sitting there in the ground. One, Dhoni is pretty much the biggest selling celebrity in Indian cricket at the moment. Despite a string of failures, from his bat and his team, the cheers which greeted everything from the announcement of his name, to his arrival at the toss, his fielding and his batting entry were unlike anything seen before in a cricket ground (except quite obviously Sachin and maybe Dada at the Eden Gardens). The icing on the cake was the song they played on the speakers when he came into bat, "Singam Pola Nadandu Varan chella perandi.. "(translated as "My grandson has the majestic walk of a lion")" from Dhool. One is not sure about the grandson part, but he well and truly seems to have become the most loved adopted son of Chennai.

The other fact which became very clear was that IPL is the biggest cricket success story of the decade. As much as I hate to admit it, (yes I am one of those so called "tradionalists" who'd prefer watching Shivnarine Chanderpaul battling England all alone on the final day of a test match) IPL has brought in amazing entertainment value to cricket. It makes one feel he's got his money's worth at the end of the day. Maybe Lalit Modi does deserve a pat on the back. After all this is the second big he has done for Indian television, the other being the rights holder for Fashion TV in India. Not surprising then that he has figured out that scantily clad women and cricket are a heady mix in India.

P.S Talking about heady mixes, it is worth mentioning that the man has been arrested and jailed on the accusation of possesing drugs (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lalit_modi) . That i guess just about proves that he's a seasoned campaigner when it comes to giving people a high.

Goodbye Henin

The world's best backhand has ceased to exist. If ever there was a living proof for a pocket dynamo it was Justine Henin. At just over 5 ft, she was an anomaly in the modern world of women's tennis. As teen sensation after teen sensation came out of eastern Europe, she stood still at the very top of women's tennis.

While her compatriot from Belgium, Kim Clijsters seemed to prove that nice people can't be champions, Henin set about disproving it. There has hardly been any volume raised about her behaviour on court or off it. On the other hand, she's earned plaudits for the way she has handled herself in the midst of all her personal troubles. While she was distancing herself from her husband, she got closer to her immediate family and in the meanwhile found enough strength, mental and physical to win the French Open. Later the same year she went on to win the US Open without dropping a set, a phenomenal achievement considering she had to meet both the Williams sisters en route her victory.

Watching Henin in action was a lesson in graceful motion. Her backhand was one of a kind, and it might not be an overstatement to say it was better than Federer's. The crispness of the shot and the angles she created were to be seen both to be believed and to be stared at in disbelief. At a time when brutal power ruled the courts, she proved that brain counts for more than brawn. To claim that she was this era's Hingis would only do both the legends proud.

Through her playing years Henin has endeared herself to the both the paying public and the critics alike, a sign of a great champion. Its a pity that the world will no longer be her stage and we cannot rejoice in her achievements, for in her we all see a bit of us, the person who broke all stereotypes and emerged as a much loved much admired individual. Men's tennis might have a Nadal for a Federer, but there has never been a constant second to Henin, a true indicator of her stamina and resolve .

As she began to court success on a regular basis, her many detractors maintained she was just robot like and that took some sheen away from her victories. As time progressed however, the world saw more of her human side. Perhaps, the most touching moment of her career was in the course of her French Open victory last year. During the semi-final match, present in her box was a very special invitee, her coach Carlos Rodriguez'z son. Many times before she had claimed that if he wished her she would definitely win the match. That day was no different and her wave to him at the end of the match would be one of the most poignant memories in an illustrious career. We'll miss you, Goobye Henin!

makes me wonder..

There isn't much of a difference between sports and games. In fact its the olympic games and not the Olympic sports.

But then why does gamesmanship have a negative connotation while sportsmanship is one of the most desirable qualities??

The Trigonometry of Love

Sine Wave: The archetypical love story. The couple take some time to warm up to each other and reach their peak, but just as they start to relish the relationship it all comes down rapidly. Better than cosine in the sense that at least the couple end up where they started rather than down in the dumps.

Cosine Wave: The love at first sight story. It starts on a high. Unable to sustain the impetus it goes for a free fall.

Tan wave: The dream love story. It can't get better than this. After a slow start its a case of up, up and away. There is no stopping this wave and as the name reflects, it almost always seems tangential to the actual curve that one is on.

Cosecant wave: Married life maybe?? Marriages, they say, are made in heaven and it is only natural that this wave starts from somewhere there. And then things start degrading and its all downward for a while until it meets the sine wave. Here, realization strikes and efforts are made to make things better. Reward isn't too far away and soon things take a turn for the better and slowly but surely its back to where it all started, heaven.

Secant wave: " You cheated on me!! ". Those seem to be the words of battered half somewhere in the middle of the relationship. How else can you possibly explain the drastic change in the curve? A sudden jolt when the relationship reaches its heights, and in next to no time both of them are staring at the abyss. Despite forgiveness and conscious efforts to make things better it leaves both the parties involved scarred for life.

Cotangent wave: The fling. They came they saw and they captured each other, albeit briefly. Intense at the start it then takes a dramatic downward plunge. Somewhere in the course of the fall, this curve meets its happy cousin, the Tan curve but lessons aren't learnt and the fall continues unhindered.

P.S The above "analysis" has been done considering only one cycle of the curves starting from zero to pi. Detailed analysis considering the curves till infinity would be very similar to the above ones except for the Tangent or the Cotangent curve which maybe equated with the life cycle of a casanova.

In continuation with the last post

Talks are also on between Australian players and CSI over whether or not the averages should be calculated keeping in mind the umpiring blunders. Australian players are claiming that these things should affect the averages because they believe these things will even out over a player's career span and in the case that certain people and teams are lucky enough to have things in their favor its not their fault, as such things do happen in the game of cricket.

Ricky Ponting is quoted as saying "Listen mate.. We got 10 lucky breaks in this match and if you look back at all the matches we have played over the last decade I am pretty sure it all evens out. You need to play cricket in the Right(ya, with a capital R) spirit mate". However he did not elaborate on what he meant by right spirit and whether standing your ground after gliding the ball into the wicket keeper's gloves and claiming a catch after having rested in briefly on Mother Earth (as if she didn't have enough burden already) would qualify as Right spirit. And also maybe crying foul when an opponent utters a word or two of aggression towards them when you've been doing this for years now. After all the game needs some cleaning up and racism will not be tolerated. Andrew Symonds in addition to being a good batsman, a decent bowler and a great fielder also seems to be in the team in his capacity to draw racist remarks from the opposition. So next time you say anything to the Australians, make sure you are facing away from Symonds lest they use it to their advantage.

Also, he claims, you get back what you give. The Aussies take good care of the neutral umpires when they visit down under and its only natural that they look to reciprocate such warm hospitality. Maybe BCCI, the richest board in the world, would do well to take note of this fact and treat the umpires well and bother about the players later. After all once the umpires make up their mind it doesn't matter whether the player is good or not or whether its out or not. All they have to do is show their finger at the right moments. As far as the Indian team is concerned they'll be justified in feeling they are at the recieving end of the wrong finger at the moment.

Scorecard changes and battle royale

Following the post-mortem of the second Test match between India and Australia at the Sydney Cricket Ground the Cricket Statisticians Inc. (CSI) have decided to ring in a few changes to the scorecard. Now instead of just reading out team scores like 209 for 4, we'll be reading out individual scores in that manner. For instance Symonds' innings will go down in record books as 162 for 3, Hussey's as 145 for 2, Tendulkar 154 for one and Ponting 55 for one. This they say is necessary as they think this will be more revealing about the standards of umpiring in the match and would help in making sure the umpires involved are forced to take this to their graves. However, CSI has decided against it having any effects on averages as they feel this will be unfair on the modern day batsmen as the olden generations are likely to go unaffected due to lack of necessary documentation to apply the new rules to them. However, CSI has said that talks are on to try and fit in an additional column "Wickets Denied" to give some of the due credit to the aggrieved bowlers. Also on the anvil is the possibilty of using half an asterix to indicate when a batsman has been ruled out unfairly.

Another report coming in is about how the best of pals in the Indian team and partners in many run chases seem to be not in talking terms after altercations over who would partner Deepika Padukone. Of late both of them don't seem as chirpy on the cricket field seeming to indicate that they would rather focus their energies on settling this off field issue. It has taken on such draconic proportions that both Yuvraj and Dhoni, keen to spend as much time with Deepika are ensuring they don't stay on the crease for too long and give the least bit of advantage to the other. One only hopes that with Indian batting struggling Deepika tells them she'll prefer the one who performs better on the field. That would be the perfect script for the revival of their batting form.

How to name it (III)

Moreover, considering that the "angel" was at that point in time inside the manger's room was a positive as far as PLC was considered. Suddenly he felt in a manner unlike any other he had experienced thus far. Was this what they called "Love"? Will this mean that he would soon one among the many who called up on the dial in shows of music channels daily, to either boast of their relationship or try and put forth the problems in their relationship to a couple of people who didn't look like psychologists but did a fairly decent job or convincing the world they are indeed love experts, if indeed there existed any. Quickly banishing these rather disturbing thoughts he knocked on the manager's door half expecting him to ask him to hang on outside for a while and also hear stifled laughs and giggles from inside.

Distracted by this totally new line of thought that his mind was taking, PLC missed the first time that the manager asked him to come in and it was only when a slightly agitated manager called out to him loud the next time did he look up with a jerk and the fashion of his entry into the room did absolutely nothing to instill any confidence in him. Sheepishly grinning and eyes scanning the room to catch sight of his lady love ( yes, by now at least he had made up his mind about what he thought of her. Her impression of him be damned, at least for now) he made quite a sight and very fortunately for him the manager decided to put it down to the normal bouts of nervousness that any new comer faces on the first day of office. With a pleasant smile on his face the manager made sure that PLC was feeling comfortable and the by now settled look on PLC face seemed to convince him that he had made the correct impact on the young man. Little did he know that the look on PLC's face was more due to his success in catching the attention of the other inhabitant of the room. By now PLC had decided that she would be the guardian angel in his life and would do quite a good job at it (and it is this impression of her on PLC's mind which helps establish her name as Guardian Angel Par Excellence or GAPE in short). His focus was more on how to make a good first impression on her rather than the manager and in this moment PLC represents many of the ordinary people who tend to get their object of focus wrong at critical moments. So while the manager was discussing details of his training, PLC was busy training his eyes to follow every little movement of GAPE.

All of a sudden and with a jerk similar to the one at the door PLC realized that he had missed out on a considerable part of his manager's discourse so far. And just as he was starting to get involved in the conversation the manager decided to wrap things up and asked PLC to make a move on and get himself acquainted with the others in the office room and especially TIC who would be his mentor during his early days at work. Considering that PLC was just taking his baby steps in the organization, he decided he could do with a close friend or two to guide him through this phase. Having no one he knew earlier working here, he was forced to go through the whole process of working towards a close friendship again. Desperate as he was to quicken the process ,he hit on the strategy that had seemingly worked so wonderfully for him earlier. He had always noticed that the more you reveal about yourself and your little secrets to someone the more they seemed to draw closer to you. Deciding that he knew enough of TIC (and more than enough of CCW) for him to begin a close relationship with him. He decided to fast track the process by letting TIC into the details of the happenings in the manger's cabin, seek help in figuring out what the manger could have told him and profess his liking for GAPE. The point that PLC missed was that while it's all well and good revealing your little crushes to someone whom you have known for a while and have built up quite a bit of trust with, it's dangerous to do the same with someone whom you barely know.